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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

[Satire] New Species of Jamfish Blooms Alongside Jellyfish

     "Satire labeling" is a thought that came to me while peeling The Onion yesterday. There are no jamfish (as far as I know) but there is an abundance of jellyfish this year in several ocean spots near the U. K. and in the Pacific northwest:




      The image above is of a "bloom" of jellyfish six years ago in the Ketchican, Alaska, coastal waters. Swarms of jellyfish are becoming more common due to agricultural runoff which carries fertilizers and other chemicals fueling the growth of algae and plankton, jellyfish’s food source. Overfishing has also wiped out many jellyfish predators. 

     These delicate, indigo (versus indigo, delicate) jellyfish are common on beaches in California this summer. Their features remind me of a cross between spider webs, tree rings and pyramids (in a blueberry-color scheme):





       And then there's the Barrel Jellyfish to echo the Barrel Cactus: 





     These beautiful invertebrates also have a tie to other things in nature via the growth pattern of their tentacles' stings. This fascinating 6- minute video shows the microscopic pattern of the venom ejecting from a jellyfish tentacle (which echoes the pattern of some quartz crystal growth):






 Jellyfish Sting in Slow Mo


    The "real" scientist talking about "real" science is a trip. His enthusiasm about the 1/3 second delay from the splaying pattern from the tentacle to the ejection of the venom could launch "The Wonderful World of Jellies!"
 
     Speaking of jellyfish >>> jelly beans >>> Tootsie Roll Pops, we'd better start bringing our calculators with us (or whip out our phones' calculator ap) to the grocery store:




     And speaking of rolls >>> roles >>>: One of my favorite roles is being a mom which segues to my daughter who turns 21 this week. Have another great trip around the sun, Zoë!




     
     The photo was taken right after our son's barber, Sterling, 88-years-young at the time, gave her a free haircut to lessen the "sting" of her cutting her own hair ;-).

      If you're ever in a jam, here i am.




Stood-irely and joyfully,

Steph (aka mom)


Word Woman



     Nine-foot-tall petrified tree trunk from China newly on display at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. Guess where I'm going this weekend!



     So, on a day when we were experimenting with half-life, synchronicity is sometimes just too good:




         Is your uranium ore container half-empty or half-full?   
        
          I went for my annual physical today and my doctor has changed floors in the medical building. This sign was next to a Fertility Clinic. Do you see EGG also?! I laughed aloud.





65 comments:

  1. Don't tell Mazie, but I think Zoë's cuter. How's post-surgical Mazie doing, anyway?
    Zoe makes me think of C. S. Lewis.

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  2. Happy Birthday, Zoë!

    BTW, your Jellyfish Sting in Slow Mo link needs a bit of tweaking.

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    1. Thanks, jan. The link is not happy for some reason going directly to youtube so I've linked it to the Time article where it is also embedded.

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  3. I won't tell her (or Maizie). Maizie (almost 8 years old) is doing just fine after her surgery. Thank you for asking, Paul.

    The everlasting life aspect of Zoe was what we had in mind in naming Zoë. She has been adamant about her umlaut, although several people put it over the "o," not the "e."

    Thanks for sharing C.S. Lewis' thoughts on Zoe.

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    1. Sorry to hear that Zoë has been adamant about her umlaut, when she should have been adamant about her diaeresis. Give that woman a subscription to The New Yorker! [Satire]

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    2. Gosh, almost 21 years of umlautness now reduced to diaeresis of the pen [Satire also; I am thinking I might need to rename this blog "Satire: PEOTS]:

      http://www.newyorker.com/culture/culture-desk/the-curse-of-the-diaeresis

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    3. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that "adamant" and "diamond" are etymological siblings.

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    4. Adamantine is a silky brown (what is that color description? texture AND color?) variety of corundum, 9 on Moh's hardness scale.

      So, yes, I knew ;-).

      But, jan, it gives me another chance to write: TGCFAOQTCD!

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    5. But if you're talking about your gem of a daughter, better to emphasize brilliance than hardness!

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    6. Sometimes they go together. . .but, yes, she is moving into a more brilliant, less hard part of her life. Yes, she is definitely a gem!

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    7. All the talk about mannequins and maraschino cherries on jello here and underwear at Puzzleria! has convinced me the time is right to share this link about a woman in her white Lollipop underwear. The look between she and her teenage daughter is so familiar (well, minus the no clothes part).

      Please don't click the link if the no upper body clothes part will offend you or get you in trouble at work. I think it is very tastefully done.

      40 years of self-portraits

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  4. Replies
    1. Is there a gluten free version? (Free the glutens? ;-))

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    2. At restaurants, my contrarian brother-in-law requests "extra gluten for me, please."

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    3. So, he asks for glutenous maximus?

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    4. jan, Love your contrarian brother-in-law.
      Steph, Love your glute-max retort.
      Legluto...

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  5. Your offer regarding jam reminded me of Maureen Dowd's citing of another unofficial slogan in politics: “The Clintons will be there when they need you.”

    I haven't been in a jam lately, but did find myself in a pickle, or rather, the other way around. When in NYC to see Dinosaur 13 last week, we ate at Russ & Daughters, and I was so taken by their pickled fennel that I found a recipe online and made some myself. Good stuff!

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    1. Maureen, at least in that piece, is a little like a written Robin Williams.

      Pickled fennel sounds good. I am a fan of just about anything pickled including okra, banana peppers, and crab apples (with lots of sugar in the pickling agent).

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  6. And I passed up on marmaladefish for fear of being offensive.

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    Replies
    1. There's the fruit fly in the ointment!

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    2. My mom's favorite joke (I think):

      What did the chick say when she saw an orange in her mom's nest?

      "Look at the orange marmalade!"

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    3. A male chick would have said, "What's that all about?"

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    4. --They're playing Mozart, next.
      -- Let me know who wins.

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  7. X, O emoji origins?

    http://qz.com/250350/the-origins-of-two-cryptic-emoji/

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  9. Steph et al.,

    Jellyfish and jamfish, I believe, are both prominently stocked as a part of our national natural aquatics preserves.

    When I get invited to spend the day at the beach, I wanna stay home, lest I be jellyfish-bit.

    Regarding the barrel jellyfish illustration: See this link with its heavenly ear candy.

    Regarding the quartz echoing:
    My aunts used to can quartz of jelly and put them in their root cellar.

    Regarding free jellybeans and tootsie roll pops…
    Well, actually it’s 14.962963 percent. But I guess we can forgive a little round-up error. At least they can’t claim, “More than 15% free!”

    Hope Zoe has a redoubtably umlautable birthday.

    LegoLambdaWithMintJelly

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    Replies
    1. Lego, the national natural aquatics preserves observation was better than pectin in apples--it gelled perfectly.

      Great ear candy. . .and, speaking of candy, thanks for doing the numbers on the Tootsie Roll Pop bag. I was hoping someone would notice that it was not exactly 15 percent more despite the three places after the decimal point. I bought them for a science experiment with the kids and discovered they now make a banana flavor! I'll trade you 3 chocolate on chocolate for one banana on chocolate pop-yum!

      And thanks for the good wishes for the diaeresised Zoe: (flip those : on top of the 'e', please. < My iPad will not cut and paste. > I must say I like the sound of umlaut better that than that diaeresis word. . .How about Z o e, 90 degree : ?

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  10. "Must be jelly, 'cause jam don't shake like that"

    This week's theme, and Maureen's Robin Williams remembrance, reminded me... When I was growing up, I had an aunt who collected tchotchkes. Hanging in her bathroom as an objet d'art was one of those department store brassiere mannequins, waist to neck, front half only, clear Lucite. I had a better use in mind. Before a grad school party, I borrowed it. An assortment of Jell-o packages to approximate what Crayola used to call "Flesh", a couple of Maraschino cherries; it was for dessert, of course, but I unmolded it before the party, You had to see how many times someone accidentally bumped into the kitchen table that evening and set it jiggling.

    When my wife and I were first dating, her elderly grandmother had a little trouble with my name. "Jam?", she asked. "His name is Jam?"

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    1. I'm not sure why but "Jam? His name is Jam?" made me laugh out loud. (Laughing out softly rarely works).

      One question, jam. Did your wife see the maraschinoed mannequin molded of flesh-colored jello and still decide to marry you?

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    2. No, we hadn't met yet, but she heard about it long before making that decision. BTW, we shared that aunt -- we were set up on a blind date by her daughter, our mutual first cousin.

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    3. Does that make you somehow related? When it gets to the realm of first cousins and once removed stuff I get a bit lost.

      On another topic, why am I getting ads for Price Chopper at the NY State Fair?!

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    4. Nope, not related before marriage. My mother's sister married her father's brother. We never met until our late 20s, though we were both at the cousin's wedding several years earlier.

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    5. So...how did you meet in your late twenties? Not a jello shot party, I presume? :-)

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    6. No, as I said, our mutual cousin set us up on a blind date.

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    7. You did say that, jan. Must have been blinded by the thought of blind dates. I have been on a couple--one where the fellow was 20 minutes late as he forgot his wallet for our ice cream date. Then he kept getting chocolate ice cream all over his face AND he took home the 2 teaspoons of LEFTOVER ice cream in the cup. There was no second date.

      Anyway...added a new sign from tje USPS to the end of this week's post.

      BTW, do jellies have jammies?

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  11. Replies
    1. OK, if we're gonna talk dirty...

      Is it dirt if it doesn't contain organic matter? The bag of "clean sand" in my garage argues against that. On the other hand, I remember the dirty space suits of Apollo astronauts after taking a few spills, and that stuff was certainly sterile and inorganic. And I wouldn't pica fight with those who say that eating dirt corrects mineral deficiencies.

      On another topic entirely, the recent pictures of Liberian troops beating civilians in an attempt to enforce Ebola quarantines were heartbreaking. Combined with recent reports of the rise of homophobia in Africa, it got me thinking, what if a gay African got infected, how would that be received? An Ebola Gay would be like dropping an A-bomb!

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    2. I know it was in questionable taste, but there's no cure for the wordplay bug. I will have to do punance....

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    3. Agreed on both fronts.

      Speaking of pica, any idea why my link above showed up in a smaller sized font ?

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    4. Looks normal on my browser.

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    5. I use Chrome. I was surprise to learn that it is now the most widely used browser worldwide. That's a situation in which I almost never find myself.

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  12. Replies
    1. So, the Stone family bought the petrified tree and then donated it? They must have rocks in their heads!

      Incidentally, I was just a guest on a wi-fi network at a medical office, which blocked access to this blog "because it is characterized as Malicious Sources/Malnets". I got access to Blainesville just fine.

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    2. Yes, I liked the stone connection also. . .What a great thing to do!

      Huh. I wonder why the malicious sources/malnets designation.

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    3. Getting back to pica, the geologist who brought the pet tree to Denver speaks of licking the tree trunk and tasting salt and how all geologists have eaten a fair amount of dirt. Do you suppose I'd be in trouble for taking a lick at the museum?

      Interesting about the organic content of dirt, jan. . .And I wonder if the Al Y link I titled including the word "Dirty" is the source of the malicious suspicious designation (?).

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    4. I'd advise limiting your licking to ice cream at the snack bar. (They serve Jell-O, too; no word on any interesting shapes.)

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  13. More fuel for the malicious suspicious designation just posted above.

    I asked the kids this morning if they thought I might really bring radioactive atoms rather than M & M's/Skittles for our half-life experiment. When they said "yes" I had to get out the [Satire] sign. . .

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    1. And then this appeared (above). [Really Good Satire]

      "I purchased this product 4.47 billion years ago and when I opened it today it was half-empty."

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    2. The other customer reviews are almost as good. E.g.:

      "The quality of this Uranium is on par with the stuff I was bying from the Libyans over at the mall parking lot, but at half the price! "

      "Magic stuff. Been taking 1 spoon a day for 3 weeks. I can now type this review using all 12 fingers."

      "Sent this as a Hanukkah gift to President Ahmadinejad. Got a thank you card back saying he loved it and I was his favorite infidel. Kudos to Amazon for a great product and fast shipping to Tehran."

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  14. All I know is that the quart of Half & Half in my fridge has two half-lives: one of about three days (for my cat to lap half of it up out of her milk bowl) and another of about a week or so (for the remainder to turn into a disgustingly curdley sour slumgullion. Sorry, Steph, I remember you saying this is one of your least favorite smells.)

    BTW, the “…jamfish blooms alongside jellyfish” four-word snippet from this week’s PEOTS headline might well have been lifted directly from the text of Joyce’s "Ulysses."

    LegoSlumda

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    1. Lego, why not buy a carton of quarter-and-quarter for your cat instead?

      Not to worry about the bad sour milk smell. I am still appreciating the scent of fresh peach bread pudding with hand-cranked whiskey ice cream. ('1472' restaurant for you Denverites.)

      Thank you for the comparison of "Ulysses" to PEOTS. I am overjoyced ;-)

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  15. More than jelly shaking tonight. My contrarian brother-in-law (see above) was in the airport terminal in Santiago during the magnitude 6.4 earthquake tonight. Says it was very scary. He's flying home now.

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    1. Yikes! That does sound scary. Hope he arrived safely.

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    2. And hope he wasn't flying into the Bay area. . .

      And planning to listen to KQED from wherever. . .

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    3. No, that's where his sister's family lives. The American Canyon quake woke them up and scared their cat, but no damage. My son & his wife felt it down the peninsula, too, but not much.

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    4. Glad your family is ok.

      The only quaking here are the aspen which are turning yellow on a branch here and there in the mountains. Beautiful day.

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    5. Yeah, we've been having unusually nice weather, too. Low humidity, not too warm. Spent yesterday hiking on the Appalachian Trail in the Delaware Water Gap.

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    6. Bet it was gorgeous and green on the trail. Maizie and I hiked the browner, Big Dry Creek Trail early this morning. Denver has an amazing trail and park system.

      I posted a new sign above. Enjoy!

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    7. Interesting logic on that sign: So, if the technician is gone for the weekend, the door is left unlocked?

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    8. I noted that also, jan. Strange semiotics for sure. . .

      And Coming in November for Geeks and Nerds Everywhere. . .

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